On odd sense of duty

So I have been working at my current job close to 7 years. In those 7 years, there have been some ups yet a lot of downs. Recently I received a letter where my application was approved and I have to go in for testing. As much as I love the idea of doing something else, I feel oddly weird about it. 

Like I said I have been at the job for close to 7 years in which I have survived many things. The thing about that is that around here I am the go to person. I pretty much do mostly everything else while the 2 other employees have their specialized jobs. I have begun to think about what will happen when and if I leave. I have not mentioned anything to anyone because I didn't want to get my hopes up but what happens if I do get the call.  I am stressing myself over nothing because I shouldn't have to. My boss put so much on me that he basically doesn't come in anymore because I can take care of it. It wasn't until recently that I had seen him for the first time in over 9 months. That alone should tell you something. 
Although things are up in the air, I just can't help but wonder what will happen when I am gone. Will someone else come in and take my place? Will someone else get promoted to my job?...........

Great Gatsby..... Yay or Nay

So I went to see the Great Gatsby this weekend. This was a movie that I was really excited to see, especially since they pushed the release date from Dec to May. What happened when I finally saw it? I don't know. I have yet to determine whether I like the movie or not. For those that have not seen the movie, this might contain some spoilers. 

So one of the things that I had an issue with was the portrayal of Gatsby. In the book he is this charismatic character who is always in control.He is those types that is very likeable and you just want to be friends with him. In this version, you see another side of Gatsby. This paranoid delusional man who is some what pathetic in his attempt to reclaim a  lost love with the ever so flighty Daisy.Daisy is also a bit flighty but somewhat melancholic in her everyday life. She is not this fun loving flighty girl, but more this somber girl who dwells too much on her misgivings. We see a brief interlude in the rekindling of their romance but not enough. 

Although there were parts that were omitted, like Nick and Jordan's brief romance, it was different side of the Great Gatsby that we are used to, especially if you have seen the Robert Redford movie. I did love the glitz and glamaour that was so prevalent and helped emphasis what the 1920's were.

Did someone say Linkin Park?

SSMF just announced that Linkin Park will be the headlining band in this year's festival. I can't wait. For those of you that may not be familiar, Sunset Street music fest takes place on the Sunset strip where not only can you hear great bands playing on the outdoor stages but where your ticket gets you in to many of the venues along the strip. Usually these venues host a lot of smaller bands that you can go in and check out, especially when you need a reprieve from the sun. I can't wait to hear who else will be playing that day.

Bug Fair at NHM

So it is that time of the year when we get to meet and greet all the creepy crawlies. Yes that is what we call Bug Fair. This weekend The Natural History Museum of Los Angeles will be hosting their 27th annual bug fair duly titled The year of the bee. Come and explore what vendors have to offer all the while learning about what we, as citizen scientist can do to help. This is my 4th year attending bug fair as a volunteer and I love going back each and every year.

 One of the benefits of going to Bug fair is that I get to try many things that I have not tried out before. They have a bug chef competition and at first I was hesitant because who really likes to eat bugs, but I was convinced to try it out and I have not regretted it since. Yes you might be thinking, eww that wont be me, but think about it this way where else can you try food made by some great chefs with a little added extras? By the time you are eating these wonderful creations, you will forget that it was made with either insects or arachnids. So come on by and you never know what you might discover.

Bug Fair is this weekend running from May 18-19 at regular museum hours. I would highly recommend to purchase your tickets online so you wont have to wait in line. Also the Butterfly pavilion is open and if you plan on going to that, purchase your tickets early because they will sell out. http://www.nhm.org/site/activities-programs/bug-fair

Taste of Hawthorne

So we have all heard of Taste of LA. An enormous event that happens all over the city with many restaurants offering special priced meals. Well the great thing about the Taste of Hawthorne is that it is in a small community in which you can go and explore what restaurants in the South Bay have to offer without driving around. Oh and what is the best part? They are having the band Ozomatli play while you eat. This looks like a fun event and on top of that they will have lots of food demonstrations and a kids corner. If you have time on Sunday May 19, 2013, you should stop by and see what the fun is all about. The event runs from 10-6 and it includes free parking. For more information, I have attached the link to the event. http://www.tasteofhawthorne.com/

Thoughts

It has been one of those days in which I am just so tired of everyone and everything. I know that sometimes people have bad days and what not but it is not my fault an DO NOT put blame on me. I have been seeing changes with one of my co-workers. I don't know where or how she got this idea that I am this vile person. You don't want to talk to me? That's fine. Better for me. That way I don't have to hear your drama anymore. And believe me she has drama. But don't pretend that i am not here. I am and you need to remember that just because sometimes I stay quiet and don't say anything doesn't mean anything. the only thing that it means is that i don't want to deal with you, but it doesn't mean that i wont if I have to. I was courteous to you and said hello back, but whether you were talking about me or about the other person here giving you an evil look, guess what it was all in your imagination. 

 I hate when people take things out of context or they put to much thought and details in to things that don't matter. I will admit that I sometimes do that, but I at least give you the benefit of the doubt. The thing is that you need to stop looking for enemies and start figuring out how you are going to get yourself out of the hole you dug out. Thats the problem. You can't figure it out and expect someone to do it for you and when that doesn't go your way you disregard them. Thats what I feel. Disregarded, used and abused. But guess what no more and that's what is really bothering you. You think that I am mean and that you never know when my mood is going to change. Well guess what cause if you think that way, then you never knew me at all and probably never will.

Chasing magic

So I started reading Chasing Magic by Stacia Kane. I like the series so far and have continued to read. One thing that I do have a problem with is all the self doubt. Yeah, I know we all have it and experience it from time to time yet it has been a reoccurring issue in the past several books. I know that it has to do with her being a drug addict and trying to survive "life" but sometimes it just feels like too much. 

I guess maybe because I am somewhat going through a lot of that minus the drugs and I really don't want to read about it anymore. One of the things that I like about this character is that despite what she thinks and everyone else she proves all of them wrong and still manages to get what needs to be done, done. I just feel like my life has come to a point. A point in which I must make that decision that will affect different outcomes in my life. I went to someone last week and they told me, after I asked about this stasis, that the only way that I was going to be able to move past it was by making a decision. It didn't really answer my question or help me find a way to get there. She mentioned either going back to school or actively finding another job. She did hit it nail on when she mentioned the whole healthcare but that is not where I want to end up anymore. So again I am left with many questions that have no answers. She did clarify that the job situation will be the same. That there would be no difference in money. So I guess if I did find another job it would pay the same. She did mention if I was thinking about buying a "new" car, when I answered no she said that it was a possibility in the next year. That started a whole new bout of what ifs....... To say the least I hope that if there is a new car in my future it wont be because something bad happened to the current one. Who know maybe I win one or something. What I was hoping that she would tell me was if there was someone new in my life that will stay there. NOTHING. She mentioned nothing what so ever about it. I was thinking of doing a full session with her but its 150 that I could use for something more productive. Like all these trips that I want to do.